I've been getting a lot of the "i don't know how you do it" comments again lately regarding my love life and current relationship.
Not that i feel i owe anyone any sort of explanation for why i do the things that i do, but i certainly don't mind providing insight into something that i care about.
My boyfriend and i have been together a little over a year and a half and i guess by most people's standards our situation is somewhat unconventional. We live almost 500 miles apart, and his job takes him all over the world for work so there are times where we go some pretty lengthy periods without seeing each other.
I guess the the questions i hate the most is "what's the point when you never see the person"? That's such an irrelevant question. Distance is obviously not an easy thing to throw into the complicated mix that a relationship generally is. However seeing a person is only a small fragment of what makes a good relationship. I know people who see each other whenever they want and hate each others guts 90% of the time. The basis of a relationship is not how much you see or don't see the person, it is so many other things.
Is it hard? sometimes, yes. Is it worth it? obviously, otherwise i would be concentrating my efforts elsewhere. Is it a lot of work? I guess so, but aren't most relationships? I think anyone who tells you their relationship requires no work at all is either lying or they're in seriously denial about how well their relationship is going (or you may just be the luckiest person on earth... who knows). The only thing i would consider to be more "work" than that of a "normal" relationship is that i have to work 9 to 5 Monday to Friday and have no license. It can be challenging getting to and from Philadelphia when i only have two days to spare each week. Sitting on a bus for 13 hours is not generally fun. Flights are way over the top expensive. It is a struggle sometimes but i do it because i met someone who treats me the way I've only ever dreamed of being treated, and he happens to live somewhere slightly inconvenient.
I wouldn't change our experiences this far though. When you learn how to overcome obstacles like this you have a different sort of appreciation for a person. Every moment is meaningful. Even the ones you spend apart are used to strengthen a bond that goes beyond physical attraction. I have a level of trust, communication and patience with Ryan that I've never had with anyone before. When you go long periods without seeing someone, those things are key to making everything work. We do A LOT of talking. A lot of catching up. Nothing is really boring, even the day to day because i appreciate hearing about his day when i can't spend it with him and vice versa.
I'm not saying we're perfect, or that we don't have our days. I guess i just see things from a different perspective than i would if i were with someone who lived here. I could never take the time we spend together for granted because i know for now it's generally going to be limited in one way or another. I wouldn't choose to spend every day away from my best friend ever, but when you find someone who makes you feel the way that he makes me feel, distance is just one of those things you need to figure out. And that, in a nutshell, is how i do what i do.
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